Many people on the spiritual path have the frustration of not becoming the ideal enlightened figure they want to be. The spiritual stories and myths we hear about and read in the books and folklore can be compared to the fashion magazines on the streets and the ads in the media that dictate to us every day what beauty means and create unrealistic expectations and desires to be someone else.
Basically we want to be perfect in some way. People want to be the hero of the day, the beauty queen, the perfect meditator, the spiritual warrior, the avatar that everyone will admire and look up to. Following that ideal we go to the fitness studio three times a week, do super diets or if we feel ourselves more evolved we meditate 3 times a day, do retreats and all kinds of spiritual gymnastics. And for some who don´t feel worthy enough they decide to bend their heads down and project it all on the Guru - the perfect one, the hero of the day. This all seems to be a fine and and makes a necessary part of one´s spiritual journey.
However there comes a time when one may question the whole spiritual idealisation thing. Are there any perfect people - even if they are so called enlightened? What is perfect anyway? What does enlightenment really means? And if you have the luck and fortune to sit with such enlightened being, you may discover that they all have their human part - and that is really natural. Actually it is a kind of a relief. It means that I don´t need to be perfect in order to be free. So I don´t need to postpone the realization of That which is perfect even amidst the imperfect, silly human aspect that I and everyone else has.
We may try hard to change who we are, improve our character for eternity, battle with our ego or delude ourselves and think that we are perfect already even when we are not and can never be. On the other hand when we accept our human sillyness, our conditioned neurotic patterns, only then there is a chance for transcendence and feeling the perfection and beauty that has always been present and always will be.
But that cannot be done by trying hard to change reality. Relax a little - you cannot fail and yet paradoxically you can only relax fully only after you fail completely. After you fail to change yourself, only true and total acceptance will lead you all the way home. And of course - if you want to go hard at it and give your best shot - then why not - that is also part of the game.
What is really important is to be totally hones with where you are at and what is your real experience of things and not what should be or could be.
As one of my teachers love to say - ´´Enjoy yourself, even when you don´t´´